


Swear Not By The Moon

by AugustinianSeptember



Category: If We Were Villains - M.L. Rio
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2019-01-10 17:30:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12304080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AugustinianSeptember/pseuds/AugustinianSeptember
Summary: James told him not to swear on the moon and the stars, that they were temporary. But in the end, the night sky was still there, and James wasn't.





	Swear Not By The Moon

**Author's Note:**

> This started off as me wanting to expand a little on when Oliver and James were lying by the lake, and turned into me taking a quote from 'Romeo and Juliet', and running with it. Most of this obliquely references moments/events in the novel, so it may not make much sense unless you've read it! (I also apologise if my timelines are off or anything - I left my copy at my parents' house when I came back to university :') )

The damp stickiness of the fake blood was replaced with the clinging, shivering coldness of lake water. Where crimson had lain against my skin, it had diluted to a pale and deceptively innocent pink colour. At that moment, lying next to James on the shore of the lake, it felt that blood would have been less painful to sport upon my front. 

Blood wouldn’t have held in it the image of him disappearing below the surface, or the sound of his ragged breathing, his lungs clogged with water.

His breathing still hadn’t evened out, but had become breathy and irregular with shivers. Dimly, I knew that I should be the responsible friend and transport my roommate back to his room, to warm bedsheets and dry clothes.

Neither of us moved.

To go back to the Castle would be to bring the close of the night. It would turn the evening into something that had happened – _had happened_ , definite and certain.

I thought that if we could just remain on the bank forever, and lose ourselves in the stillness of the lake, maybe it wouldn’t have to be concrete. Maybe we could mistake it for an alternative ending to the play.

“But then,” said James through chattering teeth, when I voiced my thoughts, “But then, everyone knows Macbeth doesn’t end that way.”

“Maybe ours could,” I replied, a forlorn hope. I already knew well it was not to be true. I already knew that the counterfeit peace between us was woven from shocked silence and an impossibly heavy sense of ending.

“ _O, swear not by the moon, the fickle moon, the inconstant moon, that monthly changes in her circle orb, Lest that thy love prove likewise variable,_ ” James said.

“Swear not by the moon,” I echoed, “Does that mean you also shouldn’t wish upon a star?”

“I suppose you can try it, if you want,” James answered. His eyes met mine for the first time since everything had happened, and something was broken behind them. Bent out of shape and shattered.

“Let’s wish together.” I fumbled and my fingers brushed against wet sand for a moment before my hand found his. He said nothing, but let our fingers fold around each other’s. Both of our hands were cold, his a little colder.

Cold hand in cold hand, we watched the sky for a long time. There were no shooting stars tonight, and as much as I thought, I couldn’t come up with a wish.

By the time we rose in unspoken agreement, light was beginning to seep into the horizon. James looked at me.

“Did you make a wish?”

“Yes,” I lied, without knowing why. “Did you?”

He didn’t answer.

-

“Oliver. We need to leave.”

I was enraptured by the sky, the subtly winking stars. I had really looked before at a sky caught between night and day, never had the opportunity to notice how the moon faded into veils of pink and blue. That night by the lake, under the same sky, we had left minutes before day had crossed from anticipated to momentary.

“Where?” I asked. I didn’t look at him.

“We talked about this. The police station. We have to report this, and you’re the one who jumped in to make sure,” he said quietly.

“Yes,” I replied absently. There was nothing I wanted more than for gravity to disappear and let me slip into the clouds.

“Come with me.” He tried again, holding one hand out. It wasn’t working; I was almost giddily detached from my situation.

“Maybe the moon was the only witness. And now it’s disappearing,” I said stupidly. It occurred to me for the first time that I might still be drunk from the previous night, and I shuddered hard.

“ _Swear not by the moon._ ”

That made me look at him, and we held gazes for a long pause.

“Maybe if I had made a wish that night,” I said, as I clambered off the garden table, “None of this would have ever happened.”

“Did you not listen to what I said?” James replied. Then he sighed, ran a hand through his hair, and added, “Maybe if I hadn’t made a wish that night, none of this would have happened.”

-

There hadn’t been much opportunity to watch the sky in prison. No windows, limited time outside, and nothing but a small supply of literature to occupy me. I had to be satisfied with description. I clung to every metaphor like I was drowning, and began to compile a list of the most enticing ones to share with James.

The night after I had been released, I walked for a long time. Meredith’s city apartment didn’t have a garden and watching through the window wasn’t the same.

The city lights blurred the stars, casting a haze of burnished orange across them. The moon alone I could see clearly, round and full.

_Swear not by the moon, the inconstant moon,_ I thought to myself, _But, James. But. The moon is still here, and you’re not._

It occurred to me in a rush that I hadn’t seen a shooting star since before that night by the lake. I wondered briefly if I would ever see one again.

Too late, much too late, I knew exactly what I would wish for.

Late-night commuters on their way home from work were jostling me, but I hardly cared. They were looking forwards, not upwards. They didn’t see what I saw.

_I’ll wait until the next meteor shower. And then I’ll wish, James. I’ll wish that you were here._

__

__

_I’ll wish that we had sworn by the moon, after all._


End file.
